Hitch: Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.
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Hitch: Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.
Sara: What should we toast to?
Hitch: Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.
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Albert: I waited my whole life to feel this miserable.
Hitch: [
Hitch showed Sara where her great-great-grandfather Juan signed into Ellis Island, and she ran out the door crying] I'm really sorry. When I saw him on the computer, it said "The Butcher of CadÃz." I thought it was a profession, not a headline.
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Sara: Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along.
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Hitch: When your wondering what to say, or how you look... just remember... she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could've said no. That means she made a plan... when she could've just blown you off. So that means it is no longer you job to make her like you... It’s is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP.
Hitch: One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once.
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Albert: You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. You know? I swear I'm, I'm going out of my mind. It's like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York. I, I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I'll stop thinking about her.
Hitch: Look, you will. Just give it time.
Albert: That's just it. I don't want to. I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... well, this is who I have to be.
Max: Spoken like a true cynic.
Sara: I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist!
Max: Or a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.
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Hitch: Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.'
Albert: [
making holding gestures at different levels] Okay... Friends. Ass. Me.

[
Albert is holding a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts]
Hitch: What you got there?
Albert: This? I figured maybe if my heart stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much.
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Hitch: Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you.
Hitch: So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.
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Sara: So, you kinda like me, huh?
Hitch: No. I love you.
{I seriously LOVE this movie. I love Kevin James. I love Will Smith...and I love the story.
I also think its full of some great advice and great quotes!}