What Happens in Vegas
Jack Fuller: [standing outside the bathroom door] Can you hurry up?
Joy McNally: [from inside the bathroom, taking her time] Almost done!
[walks into the kitchen to find Jack pissing in their sink]
Jack Fuller: Oh yeah, this is really happening. Oh, and it's your day for dishes.
Tipper: You know what? I can get a couple of my brother's loser friends to go over to Mason's apartment , knock on the door and when he opens it wham! They'll junk-punch him all up in his man business and he'll fall to the floor whaling and crying "why?" and then we'll say "you know why!"
Joy McNally: Wow! Did you just make that up?
Tipper: No, I thought about it a lot on the way over
Joy McNally: Wow! Did you just make that up?
Tipper: No, I thought about it a lot on the way over
Jack Fuller: [standing outside the bathroom door] Can you hurry up? Joy McNally: [from inside the bathroom, taking her time] Almost done!
[walks into the kitchen to find Jack pissing in their sink]
Jack Fuller: Oh yeah, this is really happening. Oh, and it's your day for dishes.
Jack Fuller Sr.: You're like a son to me. Jack Fuller: Dad, I am your son.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jack Fuller: ...We got robbed. All they took was the door.
Tipper: I just wanna junk-punch him in his man business.---------------------------------------------------------------
Hater: This is my lesbian sister. Tell them about your softball team, tell them about your team.---------------------------------------------------------------
Tipper: If I could kill someone with my mind right now, it would be you.---------------------------------------------------------------
Joy McNally: Is there any part of the night, I don't know, maybe say the part where I was about to marry the rebound guy, that you thought, 'hey oh my God, this is a really good time for an intervention'?Tipper: [extremely hungover] Seriously?
Joy McNally: Yeah.
Tipper: I like... threw up in my own purse... so...
Judge R. D. Whopper: ...Listen, I've been married for twenty five years to the same wonderful, infuriating woman. And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire but I don't, because I love her. And that would be illegal. And you know something, and I might be old fashioned but when I said those vows, I meant them. 
Joy McNally: The grown-ups have to go to work today... What are you going to do all day? Jack Fuller: I don't know yet
[shoves cereal in mouth]
Joy McNally: Hmph.
Jack Fuller: I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.
Joy McNally: Words to live by, Yanni.
Jack Fuller: If you stop betting, you never have to lose. Joy McNally: I'd bet on you, Jack.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jack Fuller: [accepting an award] I have to thank my wife Joy. She probably never told you all the story about how we met. It might come as a surprise to many of you that we didn't know each other for very long before we got hitched. What can I say - when you know, you know.---------------------------------------------------------------
Hater: You're falling for your wife! Idiot! 
Jack Fuller: Will to be married to me... again? Joy McNally: [sighs] Being with you makes me be myself again so I will be married to you... again.
[they kiss]
Joy McNally: I quit my job.
Jack Fuller: Good thing we have a ton of money!
{I think Tipper makes this movie. LOVE IT!!!!}
2 comments:
That is such a funny movie :)Love it!!
i ADORE this movie! cameron diaz and ashton?! YES PLEASE!
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